Mommy and Me groups are popular meetup locations. For many moms (and a few dads), a support group help you vent concerns and learn or get advice from other mothers. But as one new mother atMomLogic found out, not all mammas are as accepting and helpful as you think, “In the first class, we went around the room introducing ourselves and shared what brought us to the group. Up first, I figured I might as well be honest — so I told the mom strangers that my husband and I weren’t getting along, the baby wasn’t sleeping, I’d had to stop breastfeeding and that I felt like the most unsexy person ever. One mom interrupted and said, “You’re not breastfeeding anymore? Ugh. WHY?” Another then said, “You’re going back to work? Already?” Yet another chimed in, laughing, “I hope you have childcare for your kid, ’cause you’re not going to get in a day-care around here, they’re full!” The new mom concluded this wasn’t the place for her, “Needless to say, no one else was really honest. It’s hard for me to believe you’re just in a class because you’re “bored at home,” or because you were just “looking for a social hour” or “something fun to do” — which is what most of them said. It’s hard to believe you’ve somehow squeezed into your skinny jeans again and your baby is happily sucking on your boob and sleeping through the night at just a few weeks old. It’s hard to hear that you and your husband have date-night once a week and that you have a night nurse watching over your baby so you can sleep.”

I hope not all Mommy and Me or Mother’s Day Out or any other group is like that. I’d be very discouraged as a woman and a mother if other people implied I wasn’t good enough. My mom never attended these groups. She did what other mothers and fathers back in the day–the 80s–did. She took us to a park or event and talked to parents. There weren’t play dates or scheduled get together times. We just went to a neighbor’s house and said, “Hey, is Sally home?” and that was it. I don’t know why it’s so complicated now with indoor gyms and play locations. What happened to monkey bars in the back yard and mud pies? I never had a scheduled play date, my mother was my “mommy and me” and I think I’m fine.