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Update: An AnnaFermanova.com web site has been set up to help off set legal costs.
I knew North Texas had a Russian spy too. Anna Femanova is under house arrest at her parents’ home in Plano after authorities at JFK International Airport, “found a Raptor night vision weapons sight and two advanced rifle sights stuffed in a pair of UGG boots,” The Dallas Morning News reports. Femanova, a Latvian ex-patriate who studied cosmetology in North Texas, lives with her husband in Moscow. And she doesn’t like being dubbed ”America’s new sexy Russian spy” according to reports.  “She is quite sexy, you could say, but she is not a spy,” Fermanova’s Addison-based attorney, Scott Palmer, told The News. The equipment she carried out of the United States into Russia require a license which Fermanova didn’t have. The serial numbers on the items were also blacked out. She says the night vision equipment was for a friend who is a hunting enthusiast. Palmer told CBS 11 they “hunt bears at night” and it’s expensive to buy high tech hunting equipment in Russia. OK. Not only are the new generation of Russian spies kind of lame, they’re not even good spies anymore. Hiding scopes in a pair of UGGs and living in the burbs of New York and Seattle and now Collin County.  Is this all some sort of mass PR campaign for Salt? Because that I could buy into that. Aren’t we over the Cold War with Russia? Didn’t that end like a decade ago? Maybe someone needs to tell the Russians we’ve moved on to another area of the world. The good times or spying and espionage are over. These wannabees may be rogue agents but the next time you smuggle in night vision equipment to Moscow you may not want to hide them in a pair of boots that go through an x-ray machine, Anna. (But I have a feeling this kid is a victim of bad timing and poor choices and the media really wants to play up that “sexy” image.) Jeez. Come on Russia! Step up your game a little. It’s not even fun anymore. And does every good looking girl going into Russia have to be a spy? Why aren’t they just calling her a hot smuggler? Or a young woman who made some really bad choices and is paying the consequences for multiple misconceptions.

In an effort to appeal to a growing community of three streets in northern Collin County where readers enjoy both Briefing and subscribe to The Dallas Morning News, the word “sex” and all of its derivatives and suggestive homonyms including but not limited to: sexual intercourse, doin’ it, gettin’ down, oral, rabbits, thrusting, anus, penetration, unmarried, no protection, bootylicious, curvacious, bowchicawowwow, and making it like monkeys will no longer be a part of The News’ vocabulary. A memo released this morning to staff members on the universal desk and Metro editors reiterated the importance of appealing to a certain minority group of core readers, “our job  as journalists is to tell the truth but to do so in a way that is both informative and inclusive of our aging, increasingly conservative, church going, gun toting, militia supporting core readers in Collin County,” the memo read. The new proposal will keep ‘sex’ in certain Metro editions distributed in East Dallas and downtown where condoms are freely distributed and where Sarah Palin is not scheduled to speak this month. Asked what words would be used to replace sex, one recently re-hired editor explained the meaning of intercourse could be implied just not spelled out, “You may write instead of sex: making love, shared an intimate moment, wrestled, monkeyed around, knocked boots, got the sheets sweaty, or tried to make a baby.” One anonymous female cops reporter threw her arms up in disgust, “How am I gonna do my (bleepin) job? I mean Jesus! No sex? That’s all of freakin’ Dallas and those freaks in Collin County. What (bleeping) joke you (bleeping) (bleepers).”  Three editors tried to placate the disturbed woman and one voiced his support for the new measure, “You know, this isn’t a bad idea. I mean, who needs to talk about sex in such a vulgar way by actually calling it what it is? I like the idea. No, I love the idea. This is the best new idea we’ve ever had. Let’s get an intern to cover the first story.” The first ‘pure’ editions of the Metro section will appear this Easter Sunday.

Poll workers in Collin County didn’t believe a handful of minority voters who requested to vote in the Republican primary. The African American voters, all women, said they were given a hard time yesterday and repeatedly asked what primary they were voting in. For those not in the know, in the primary you do cast a vote for a particular party and it’s not unsual to be asked which party and in heavily red Collin County most voters vote Republican. And most of its voting population is white, conservatives. But this year there are four black candidates running for office this election, the most ever on a Republican ticket. Connie Evans told WFAA (Channel  8 ) last night, “Before she gave me the card, she said, ‘Now you’re voting what?’ ‘I’m voting Republican.’ And then after she gave me the card, she asked me again what I was voting, and I said, ‘I’m voting Republican.’ Most black people were supposed to vote Democrat, but we can change our mind just like anybody else,” Evans said. They weren’t the only ones hassled either. The elections administrator sent a message to workers asking them not to racially profile but allow a person to either declare affiliation on their own and to ask every voter what primary they are voting in. I wonder who the ladies were voting for and why? You know as well as I do that the mistake the poll workers made wasn’t unreasonable. Statistically most African Americans do vote for Democrats. Just like most conservative white folks vote Republican. But the poll workers job isn’t to stereotype anyone. They hand a ballot, check ID, see you on your way. It’s nice to know there is a little diversity up in Collin County and political views can rub off on neighbors. When in Rome…

I’ve heard of this organization before but in case you’re in need of some safe sitting services you need to check this business out. SeekingSitters offers part time, one time and full time sitting services for families, companies and individuals. Yes, it’s for single moms, busy families or companies wanting to offer a sitting service for corporate events.  The company performs background checks, in person interviews with all of its sitters and previous sitting experience is required before workers are accepted. They’re also required to be CPR and first aid certified.  Locally, co-owners and moms Jennifer Calyer and Alexa Glaser help give parents piece of mind. Calyer told CBS 1 1 in a recent interview, “We use our own in house PI firm that goes out and actually calls and verifies, we’ll use court runners, we’ll use any method possible to get the most current data on each one of our applicants.” No, these sitters aren’t inviting their boyfriends over for a makeout session on your dime and they must bring age appropriate games to limit the amount of TV time kids are exposed to. Parents can even book a sitter over the Internet. There are multiple company and service locations across the country. And they’re hiring for those of you interested in making a little moola and offer franchise opportunities. Check out the site for pricing and availability.

His infidelities were disgusting but Philippe Padieu, a Frisco network security analyst, left his girlfriends with more than just a broken heart.  He gave them HIV. And he kept having sex with women even after being notified he had HIV. On the day, “He was court-ordered,” to stop having sex with women said one victim, he, “had a car in his driveway that night,” and a woman in his house.  His victims called each other, tracked one another down through license plates, dug through Padieu’s garbage for numbers and called cell phone numbers on Padieu’s phone to warn women. They shared in the “sisterhood of HIV” and demanded that something be done to stop him–short of wacking his infectious dick off. They tell their story on 20/20 tonight.  I ache for these women. They thought they found love but were lied to and led to their death by a man whose crime has no punishment strong enough. I hope you watch it tonight and are filled with rage. And then I hope you call your GYNO and schedule your own STD and HIV/AIDS test. Padieu’s crimes were revealed because one woman got tested. Do not be the victim of a liar or of your own ignorance. Get tested if you’re single. Get tested if you’re married. Get tested if you’re dating. I know so many women who do not. It’s stupid. I’ve been tested twice for HIV and for STDs. It is not fun. It is damn scary and it is not something that you want to talk to anyone about. You don’t have to. You can even do some tests through the mail. But get tested.