Update: D Magazine has issued an explanation/non-apology for its list of 52 things every Dallasite must do including getting fake boobs and hiring a day laborer. The original picture on the web site, it has since been replaced, showed what appeared to be Hispanic men sitting on a curb, “Look for the vacant lot with mustachioed men sitting on stumps by the cyclone fence of wind-trapped Funyuns bags,” the article says. “Give them clear instructions, buy them lunch, and keep them in water. If a guy is a loafer, pay him, take him back to the lot, and pick up another one. Sounds cruel, but in this job market it’s survival of the fittest.” The picture has since been changed and now shows a man from the waist down in a work belt. Not everyone, including me, found it funny. In response to an email by Latino site Guanabee, D Editor Tim Rogers wrote, “”Are you saying people SHOULDN’T hire day laborers?” he added, “I thought the advice we offered was very helpful.” Yes, Mr. Rogers, I suppose you would think it’s “helpful.” And why change the picture? Frankly, I’m offended by the fake boobs statement, and so are some of my readers. I would like an email from Mr. Rogers, too!
The rest of the list of things to do is equally oblivious, “You’re not a true local until you’ve done them all,” they claim. Getting fake boobs and hiring a day laborer aren’t the only ways you can call yourself a local. You can also attend the Cattle Barron’s Ball get pulled over by Highland Park police (my husband has!) and visit Fuel City tacos (finally! something I’ve done). By and large I’d have to morph myself into an upper-class Caucasian woman with expendable income and an intense amount of vanity to fulfill most of what’s on the list like meeting Dean Fearing and chatting it up with Troy Aikman at Mi Cocina or partying in the Byron Nelson pavilion. I’ve done a tiny portion–mostly the affordable stuff like shopping, looking at views and am interested in the free events including a visit to the Potter’s House (I watch on TV sometimes). Is it wrong of me to be kind of proud I haven’t done most of what’s on this list? I’m living a completely different, yet still fulfilling Dallas experience, and I feel that I am just as much of a Dallasite as anyone in the Park Cities is. And my boobs are 100% real, and they’re fabulous.