Rev. Robert Jeffress, FBC Dallas

Why am I not surprised that Rev. Robert Jeffress of First Baptist Dallas said something racially ignorant, untrue and bigoted? During an ‘Ask the Pastor’ event Aug. 22, Jeffress called Islam, “an evil religion, an oppressive religion, and it is a violent religion,” he said later referencing an article he read about Yemen about child brides, ”And here is the deep, dark, dirty secret of Islam: It is a religion that promotes pedophilia – sex with children…. Around the world today, you have Muslim men having sex with 4-year-old girls….”  Khalid Shaheed imam at Masjid Al-Islam, the oldest mosque in downtown Dallas, said Islam does not promote sex with children and Jeffress doesn’t understand Islam. “I think he is fanning the flames of hate, and it’s absolutely wrong,” Shaheed told WFAA. “It does not represent the core of Christianity.” For his part, Jeffress defended his statements to WFAA, ”I believe it is the truth, and I think the record is clear,” he said. “Again — not all Muslims are evil, not all Muslims incite violence — but this is a religion that is responsible for the oppression of women around the world.” He later called on the good Christians to rise up and fight the evil oppressor of Islam. Isn’t lying and skewing the facts a violation of the commandment “thou shall not bare false witness.” IJS.

The controversy boiled over this Sunday when Dallas Morning News columnist Steve Blow wrote about the incident and the man behind the ignorance, “It’s hard to know where to start in expressing dismay with the Rev. Robert Jeffress – for being uninformed, un-Christian or un-American.” I vote for all of the above. And in that same Sunday paper, my column about being a Christian fasting during Ramadan came out. As a woman married to a Muslim, Rev. Jeffress, I’ve never been repressed, mistreated, beaten or otherwise lambasted for my sex. And as a woman who traveled to Yemen in June and saw (with my own Christian eyes) the “evil” repression and a child bride taking a driving lesson, I can testify quite clearer about this religion of hate you so readily speak of.  Below is my response:

Dear Rev. Robert Jeffress,

As a former Baptist woman, raised as Baptist, attended Baylor University in Waco, I do consider my foundation in the church quite solid. And I do understand where this image of Islam comes from. I do understand a Christian’s role to ‘go forth’ and spread the word. But I also understand more clearly that the views many Baptists (and Christians) hold of Islam are skewed by media and our own misunderstanding. Clearly, you know the images of Islam that have been a beacon of mainstream media: men with headscarves wrapped around their face and RPG’s held in the air, anti-American statements, terrorists, and women covered in black, shadowy figures, oppressed in Afghanistan, married young in Yemen and otherwise sad figures with an even sadder lot in life. You do not know the images of those same Muslims in your own community who are feeding the homeless who go to the mosque in downtown Dallas. Or who do volunteer service with incoming refugees. Or who tithe (as they will this week at the end of Ramadan) in service to others. Clearly, you do not know that in Yemen, my friend gathers $50 worth of dry goods and foods for poor children in a mountain village and that simple donation will last a year! (You can read the full details of my trip here.)

To be fair, I agree with some of the sentiment behind your statements. The oppression of women in Muslim countries is reprehensible in my mind. But this is 2010 and women are still not allowed to be pastors in Baptists churches. Go to your local women’s violence shelter, and you’ll find plenty of good Christian women and children wailed on by their faithful men and fathers. Does that equate what happens to women in Afghanistan? No. The Taliban are the worst form of evil alive, a twisted men of faith who’ve hijacked their religion to commit the most morally reprehensible crimes. But we’re a society that only 50 years ago still lynched men in trees for the color of their skin. We still have a group called the Klu Klux Klan, we still have hate crimes, and what’s worse, we still have people who uphold their hateful views and fill church pews every Sunday.

As a Christian married to a Muslim, I understand more clearly than you might imagine this Islam you speak of. I often look at those same CNN broadcasts or articles and shake my head and get sick in my stomach. But that same fear is there when I hear men like you preach to an audience a message of hate and I worry what your parishioners will do if they see my husband–who is not a violent man, who is faithful and kind and peaceful–and feel justified to speak hate to him, beat him or worse using your message as permission for their actions.  This is hate not faith! But will your parishioners know the difference? Do terrorists or the Taliban? I believe much of what you say is a message of fear (for their soul, for your safety, of the unknown). I recently spent a month in the Middle East on an un-mission trip. I visited. Observed. Had to wear a head scarf occasionally. Balked at the customs. Struggled as a Christian but ultimately left the Middle East (which is made of multiple countries, multiple faiths, customs and people) with a better sense of who Muslims are and how Islam plays in their lives.

Do men with thick grizzly beards and women dressed head to toe in black with only a slit for their eyes still scare the bejeezus out of me? Sometimes. It’s odd to see such conservatism in Dallas. But I was the odd duck in Sana’a, Yemen. Frankly, I’m scared in rooms full of Bible thumpers in Dallas these days. The bottom line, sir, is that if you are going to lead your congregation and call on them to go into their community as a body of believers armed with the sword of righteousness, I pray that you sheath the sword in truth. Because a Christian soldier armed with lies is no better than the Taliban promised virgins.

Sincerely,
ChickTalkDallas (Christian woman, married to Muslim, considering Methodism)
P.S. I’m available for speaking engagements and meetings.

Ramadan ends this week and I wrote a perspective piece on what it’s like to be a Christian fasting during Ramadan in a mixed marriage. You can read the article in this Sunday’s Points section of The Dallas Morning News (paper edition) or online as well. Yes, you do lose weight. That’s a benefit of fasting during the hottest month of the year. No, I don’t recommend it as a dieting strategy. Here’s a blog log of last year’s fast. I was better then. This year I’ve let myself slip a bit but I’m trying. That should count for something. Hope your enjoying your Sunday brunch. I’ll be thinking of you.

In today’s Wall Street Journal, reporter Jo Piazza examines the business behind shot girls, “Margins are high when attractive women wearing revealing tops and short shorts sell trays of Jell-O shots and watered-down tequila in a plastic test tube. The drinks cost 15 cents to make and sell for $3 or $4,” Piazza concludes. Duh! Two New York financial analysts have since formed a company that outsources shot girls. They manage, “a stable of 25, nearly all of whom are college-educated,” writes Piazza with about the same aplomb drunk journalists pay to shot girls in bars. Girl with drink=herding animal I can pinch, grope or otherwise harass. JeezWSJ. Did someone check this for sexist language? Anyway, Piazza (I believe Piazza is a woman) goes on to say the two male founders started the company after, “observing the disorganization and mistreatment of the women.” And continues Piazza, “Their product is recession proof. It’s all about micro-sales, selling something extremely cheap in mass volume. This is best practice number six: “Do not spend too much time with a patron or group of patrons. The foundation of our strategy relies on high-volume sale propositions. We must walk the fine line of being quantity salesman, while giving respect to those who purchase our items.”" That rule seconds only to: “Never give up and always be the friendliest girl in the room. You’re not selling cheap liquor, you’re selling flirtation.” Piazza continues on an refers to the women involved again as a stable and tries very hard to make a shot girl story more about business and not a reason for guys to ogle at shot girl pics. I appreciate the novelty but often women are more prone to stigmatize other women in a story rather than men.

Last night my husband surprised me with tickets to see comedian Jo Koy perform at the Addison Improv. He’s great. We love him on Chelsea Lately and his Comedy Central special ‘Don’t Make Him Angry’ is awesome: “Oh, Josep…are you retarded? Game ober!” Anyway, Thursday’s crowd filled about half of the Addison Improv but the people inside were so obnoxious a manager had to come by and tell a drunk lady to calm down. She sat in front of me and kept screaming out joke requests, ”Do the orange chicken!” Koy tried to ignore her but eventually he gave in and that got the ball rolling for every crazy f*cker in N. Texas.

The guy across from me–Mr. Four Bourbons–kept hooting and hollering and yelled, “Give ‘em hell!” Then a table full of blond nursing students–one of whom was supposedly engaged–interrupted Koy to invite him to go out with them later in the night. And they got “Shut the f*ck up”-ed by another very annoyed audience member. It was a drunken free for all in the Improv where people started yelling out impersonation requests: Do Bill Cosby, Michael Jackson…Chelsea Handler!  WTF?!? Mr. Bourbons yelled out, “Welcome to Texas!” to Koy after another table interrupted his routine. Thankfully, Koy played it off but I felt bad for him and totally embarrassed by my fellow N. Texans whose boozy nonsense was a total downer. Guess what people,  you’re not funnier the drunker you get! He’s the comedian not you. M-kay. I’m sorry, Jo Koy. I really wanted to hear your new stuff and enjoy the show but the drunken dumb asses who interrupted you are just the kind of idiots the rest of us have to put up with. Thanks for being patient though. And I hope the rest of your shows go off without incident. I can’t wait to see your new sitcom! Koy will perform through this weekend Sept. 3-5. Go see him. And don’t drink too much!

Emily Ramshaw of the Texas Tribune got a sit down with the elusive Laura Miller, Dallas’ former female mayor and the woman who seems to have disappeared off the radar except for a random story on a home makeover. You can read the full interview online and listen to audio but frankly it’s much to do about nothing. Most of the Q&A Miller discusses her new role as a clean energy ambassador and her Trinity River stance. She won’t talk about her successor Tom Leppert, “One of the things I really appreciated about [my predecessor] Ron Kirk was that he never talked about how I was doing. I’m sticking to that. You move on, and you don’t judge,” she told Ramshaw. And any political ambitions are now centered on her husband former state Rep. Steve Wolens. Bor-ing! Laura Miller used to piss people off just by walking in a room. Men and women and especially Jerry Jones. It takes a special talent to do that. Too bad she’s all suburban housewife now. She was fun. Disagreeable. Not a team player. Some might say two faced or worse but fun to watch.

Hair whisperers. Professional nit-pickers. Delousing specialists. Parents, get ready to shell out big bucks this school year as a new breed of super lice attacks kids, homes and wallets. Is you head itching yet? It should be. On ABC’s Nightline, parents and professional delousers discussed the new breed of super lice–bugs who’ve become resistant to traditional over the counter shampoos like RID or Nix–harder to get rid of and attacking with a vengeance. More importantly, entrepreneurs are taking advantage of the hairy situation and teams of professionals are going into homes like hair whisperer Amy Goldreyer who uses a  special hair vac called the LouseBuster (they stick something that looks like a Flowbee on you kids head and burn the lice and eggs). Others are opening up nit-picking salons, where, for around $300 in some cases, you can have someone else fine tooth your child’s hair for eggs. These services are offered to parents who don’t want the whole world knowing their kid has lice. But no family is immune to head lice including celebrities like Courtney Cox Arquette who contracted headlice from her daughter. And P.S. hair specialists also say parents have a 90%  chance of attracting lice from their infested child. The problem is the stigma and the secrecy. If more parents were open and honest about the problem, said Goldreyer, there would be much less need for quicky in-home treatments or these speciality services and more parents would be quick to act and check their child. But Maria Botham of Hair Fairies, a California-based nit picking chain, sees a market that’s also recession proof, “We really kind of want to be the Starbucks of head lice removal,” Botham told Nightline.

And in case your wondering, yes, Dallas does have lice specialists. The Texas Lice Squad is located off of Trinity Mills Road and is the” first and only” professional, certified lice specialists in the state. The service fee for lice removal: $95/hr + the cost of the Terminator Comb. (You get to keep the comb). They guarantee full removal after one visit. Some health insurance flex spending accounts cover the treatment as well. But there’s a $75 fee charged if you pull a no-show at the clinic. And if you balk at the notion of paying almost $100 for one hour of nit picking, consider the “true cost” of lice. For the record, I’ve was plagued off and on by the itchy critters in my school days, and I wish people like this existed back then. Now my scalp is super itchy after writing about this, and I’ve got to go check myself in the mirror because I’m paranoid. *scratch, scratch, scratch*

Why don’t they just call the show Desperate to Be A Star? Let’s be real here. ABC’s 11th season of the dismal Dancing With the Stars is an “all star” cast of former one hit wonder stars/athletes/ a teen mom, 80s heartthrob, an alcoholic and reality show wannabees. Included in the line up: Florence Henderson of the Brady Bunch, former NFL quarterback Kurt Warner, reality losers Mike “the Situation” Sorrentino and Audrina Patridge, singers Michael Bolton and Brandy Norwood (who?), comedian Margaret Cho and That’s So Raven star Kyle Massey(who?), former LA Laker Rick Fox, actors Jennifer Grey (of Dirty Dancing fame-isn’t that cheating?) and David Hasselhoff and last (and definitely least) Bristol Palin. Vomit.  

Not only do I not want to see any of these people on TV, I definitely don’t want to see Mrs. Brady in sequins shaking her bon-bon. Or the Hoff busting out with a hairy chested cha cha. And I really don’t want to see Sarah Palin anymore than I have to. I used to like watching DWTS and I didn’t mind seeing movie stars and singers make idiots of themselves. I appreciated their effort. But now it’s just an all out freak show on the dance floor for ratings sake. And any has been “star” (and what exactly is Bristol Palin famous for?) with an eager publicist (or power hungry mom) is trying to get their face on this show. I’m not sure it’s an honor to be asked to be on the show as the loseresque quality seems to be the selection factor. They had a woman with one leg and a deaf girl dancing for goodness sake! And did you see Kate-stiff me-Gosselin? Dancing is supposed to be a thing of beauty (heck, remember Dirty Dancing and Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey? They were beautiful.) But what ABC has done to this sport by letting buffoons on the ballroom floor is a disgrace and the judges who cast votes for these people know that. Avoid ABC like the plague this 11th ‘Dancing’ season. Heck, turn on Dance Your Ass Off if you really want to see something painful.

As of 12:30 p.m., ChickTalkDallas.com welcomed its 10,000th visitor this month. That’s the highest number of visitors we’ve had since launching in June 2009 and not bad for a little solo-blogger bumping her way through the Dallas information super highway alone. And double kudos, I’m finally getting a check for my online advertising too. And I have figured out other sources of income not traditionally associated with blogs too (but that’s my little secret). Thanks to all the web users out there who somehow find their way to my site! And look for more to come from ChickTalkDallas.com as this entrepreneur uses her mad skills to make women-centric content matter in Dallas. Don’t forget to join our Facebook fan page and Twitter account. And leave a comment on the blog and homepage when you can!

alley’s house, a local non-profit organization supporting teen mothers ages 13-21 with parenting skills, GED training and job training skills as well as volunteer mentors and case management, was forced to layoff it’s entire staff today due to lack of funds. “In order to keep our staff, including our two case managers, alley’s house needed to raise $20,000 by today,” wrote Jennifer Browning on the alley’s house blog, “We received such an amazing response and within a week you helped us raise $8700. Unfortunately, since we have not received the necessary funding, alley’s house is having to lay off our staff today. Despite the situation, alley’s house will operate as usual. All 28 teen mothers currently enrolled with alley’s house will be transferred to Allison Whitehead, Executive Director, who will oversee their case management. Any prospective clients will be placed on a waiting list until we can raise the appropriate funding which will allow us to hire the appropriate staff needed to accommodate additional teen mothers.”

The non-profit group is hosting a fundraising drive tonight: Dinner for a Cause Campaign will be from 6 to 8 p.m. at Sfuzzi’s Uptown (corner of McKinney and Routh). They are asking for a $10 donation at the door or you can purchase five raffle tickets for $40 (they are raffling art work). Sfuzzi’s is offering a complimentary cocktail and half price pizza until 7 p.m. If you can’t make tonight’s event, you can donate online, email or call program.director@alleyshouse.org at 214-915-9945.

Forget those situps and laps, give me a downward facing dog! Army recruits are training under a news set of physical fitness guidelines these days and, “That familiar standby, the situp, is gone, or almost gone. Exercises that look like pilates or yoga routines are in. And the traditional bane of the new private, the long run, has been downgraded,” reports The New York Times. The new whole body routines are meant to reduce injuries, strengthen overall body performance (including core muscles) and prepare soldiers for more physically demanding combat zones including Afghanistan. But the main enemy in this battle is obesity. “Between 1995 and 2008, the proportion of potential recruits who failed their physicals each year because they were overweight rose nearly 70 percent,” a group of retired generals and admirals concluded in a report released this year:”Too Fat to Fight.”  The news physical training program isn’t Army-wide yet (only a few bases are experimenting) but many of the new recruits simply aren’t up to par. Army officials cited high sugar diets and lack of physical fitness as well as video games as the cause. “What we were finding was that the soldiers we’re getting in today’s Army are not in as good shape as they used to be,” Lt. Gen. Mark Hertling, told The Times. “This is not just an Army issue. This is a national issue.” At some bases they are also putting in healthier eating options as well. While most commanders are still old school in their approach to physcial fitness, the enemy is a lot leaner and more agile than the average Army recruit. And 20 jumping jacks, 50 situps and a two mile run don’t exactly cut the mustard in Afghanistan. Downward dog may look weird but if it means a better prepared soldier, it’s a necessary change the Army needs to make.